The Ultimate Download

Day two.
She is gone.
Mind swirls with memories
calendars and journals at my side
I decipher scribbles of the final days
Carole dying into death 

the send off.

She had visited Arizona late March

days marked with unspoken words

like final and last
we stepped naked into a hot tub
gorged on banana creme pie

made our way up a hill

above Arivaca Lake

joined good friends to
drum the rise of the 

equinox full moon.

I photographed 
Carole with
daughters and granddaughters
we watched shadows pass

across the accordion pleats of sahuaros
from a Tucson back porch
she cheered daughter Laurel on
in the discovery of 

her first home. 

Carole's Kaslo return 

to her idyllic home was tough

tearful phone calls 

followed 
soon thereafter by

one I missed.
This voicemail --

Hey Honey, this is Carole. Give me a call.

I knew what this was.
I was about to hear
the hardest words of my life.

I returned her call.
It's time she said.
I can't keep food down and I'm having horrible days. 
I want you here. 

Her date with death was set:
May's New Moon
a week away.

I arrived under
the waning sliver moon
kissed her and sat at her side
she wasted no time
of course not
she had no time to waste
what are you doing about land?
She wanted me settled
seventeen years on the road was enough.

A recurring theme
her closing goal.

I found her alone 

the next morn

on the couch
in palpable pain
I smudged her 
with the white eagle tail feather 

I once brought
her from Alaska.
We sang an old favorite
We all come from the Goddess
and to her we shall return ...
I leaned toward her face
took her hand as we gazed

lifetimes deep  
into one another's eyes.
I began to shake.
Shiver.
Do you feel that I asked.
the energy transference?
It's like ...

you are downloading into me.

The ultimate download she answered.

Her words were barely discernible.

We sat spellbound 
until her eyes twinkled 

Well, I've taken care of my business 

she joked
I'm out of here ...
before you.

Ya, thanks a lot I said
this, our final
laugh together.

She wanted another song
one we sang so long ago
we all fly like eagles ... 
she was angelic

she said 

when the time came to die

she wanted someone at the door 

protecting the space:
Death is like a birth 
someone always shows up unexpectedly.

The old moon
was taking Carole with her
into the void
both of them

thinner and thinner
disappearing into darkness
to birth anew.

Spring Tucson Visit

Add Daughters, Grand-daughters and Maya 

Granddaughter Fun